The Bachelor 2013 – Episode 01 “ABSolute Beginning”

I am so happy The Bachelor is finally back! Although I was not a huge fan of Sean on Emily’s season of The Bachelorette, I do believe there is a lot more to him than what we got to see then. And I love getting to know the new contestants! And I needed to move on from my (I guess you could call it that) obsession with the Jef/Em “on-off-on-off again-maybe on again” relationship. But the main reason I was excited for this new season to finally start? LIVE TWEETING! I am so addicted to live tweeting with BachelorNation producers, alumni, contestants, fans…

    @LiveBachelor: How did we ever watch the Bachelor without Twitter?

So in honour of all of them (you), I am going to do a “tweet-captionning-best-one-liners-recap” – look out for some of the best tweets of the night throughout the recap.

One sidenote before we start, I am keeping all the Bachelor’s contestants profiles updated with their Twitter names, Instagram handles and other Facebook and Blog pages, so if you are a fan of any of the 26 ladies we got to (re)meet last night, just check their pages!

HERE WE GO! After some pretty interesting titbits to preview the season,

    @Possessionista: What! Someone didn’t come here to make friends? Someone isn’t here for the right reasons? What show am I even watching?

we get to see the multiple facets of Sean, the everyday simple guy:

… heartbroken by Emily (well that was expected)

… family man aka “Uncle Seanie” (seriously could these kids be any cuter?)

    @JP_Rosenbaum: Sean’s niece’s playhouse has central air. #Bachelor #constructionmanagement101

… and of course (yum-yum) working through his heartbreak in the gym:

    @AshleySpivey: Let’s be real. The only reason I’m watching this show is to see @SeanLowe09 do some more jean jammin’! #Bachelor

Next part had me grinning from ear to ear, as Arie joined Sean for a little bro-conversation covering among other things how to break up with a girl, leading to one of the best lines of the night from Sean “I can’t use ‘it’s not you it’s me’ coz it’s obviously gonna be them” and this hilarious gem from Arie “That’s not what you said in the fantasy suite last night!

Here is a little behind the scene pic for you:

    @Millsy11374: I wish I could quit you Arie #BrokebackBachelor

How to kiss:

    @andilavs: REALLY hoping for a Sean/Arie Cruel Intentions-style makeout scene.

And particularly how NOT to kiss!

    @Possessionista: Looks like Sean learned about kissing from Arie. And about lipgloss from Kalon.

Finally comes the moment we had all been waiting for…

    @jwolfner: “Hi I’m Chris Harrison”….umm no shit.

Sorry, I obviously mean, we finally get to meet some of the girls thanks to the usual little intros we get for a select few:

* Katie Holmes look-alike Desiree:
* Deliriously (and borderline maniacally) excited Tierra:
* Dancing in the street bare-feet Robyn:
* Divorced mum of 2 Diana:

    @andilavs: “Just a blowout today?” With those words, I’d marry you, Diana.
    @TheFinalRose: Why weren’t all these hair stylists on @BenFlajnik’s season? Poor @BachelorBenHair could have used them.

* Gorgeous and impossible (for me) to make jokes about Sarah:

* The “picture below says it all” Ashley P (who later inspires Sean to give us his memorable “I brought my rape whistle if I need it“):

    @Millsy11374: Sean’s inner goddess just vomited.

* DC’s own Lesley M:

* (Teeth?) Model Kristy:

* Organization-obsessed AshLee:

    @JP_Rosenbaum: Professional organizer? It’s called the @ContainerStore

Sean finally gets to meet the girls… here are a few stand-outs, good and bad…

* Move-star gorgeous Selma:

* Terrible extensions and wayyyyy over the top tan Kelly (but she can sing!)

    @Millsy11374: Please don’t sing Please don’t sing…aww shit

 

* Obviously stressed (she first goes to shake his hand!) but very obviously happy to meet Sean (and vice-versa based on the copious amount of giggling and eye-contact between these two!) Catherine:

Best line: “an animal attack on the eye balls


* Gutsy but unlucky Robyn:

* “How come no-one in all the past seasons thought about the wishing-well gimmick” Desiree:

* Ass-checking Lesley M (the women of the world thank you!):

* Wedding gown wearing and kiss stealing Lindsay:

Best line: Lindsay I’ve got balls.Sean Well I hope not.

* And of course, 1st rose recipient Tierra:

    @StyleIT: If Sean gives Tierra the First Impression Rose, she’s booking an appointment to get ‘Impregnate Me’ on her lower back tomorrow.
    @Jwolfner: “SeanLowe09: I definitely threw Tierra to the wolves with the first rose.” That explains why she’s in my living room.

* Last but not least, the “surprise” arrival of Ben’s season Kacie B:

    @Millsy11374: Shawntel Newton watching this and PRAYING for a dumpster trash reference.

 

Ensues the usual frenzy of one on one times between Sean and the various girls, growingly (and very thinly veiled) bitchy comments, etc …and the not so usual random handing out of roses pre-Rose Ceremony!

    @Chrisbharrison: He is a rose slut RT”@1chicklette: That time @Chrisbharrison stopped short of calling @Seanlowe09 a Rose Slut”
    @Millsy11374: Later that night, Sean started handing out fantasy suite cards.

 

Here are the girls eliminated by Sean:

* Ashley HKelly, Keriann, Lacey, Lauren, Bachelor Pad contestant and superfan Paige

    @Millsy11374: We are inventing a new #Bachelor spin off for Paige to be kicked off of.

and (OF COURSE!) 50 Shades addict Ashley P, who closes the show, after making a fool of herself, with one of the best one-liner of the night:

Mom, don’t be mad“.

Finally, whether you enjoyed my recap or not, here are a few other blogs and points of view I really liked this week:

Extract: “There was the one girl who looked like the mom of Modern Family (or the love interest from Happy Gilmore if you are old school) who just cried in a corner and let her boobs hang out. I’ll call her Double Dunphy. For now.”
Read more here.

  • Shay (Sean’s big sister!):

Extract: ” I do talk a lot. Sean tweeted me immediately and said he meant it with love (when he said his older sister talked so much that he grew up to be a man that didn’t talk very much because he never had the chance). No one in my family would argue that point! And trust me… he’s super, super happy I do talk a lot… I keep mom and dad busy with what I’m saying and they don’t have nearly as much time to quiz him about his life… it’s a perfect balance.”
Read more here.

  • Emlyn Chand (Love her, and this week’s “His & Hers” post in particular):

Extract: ” I don’t really remember any of the girls’ names, but I figure if I refer to them all as AshLee, I have about a one in three shot of being correct. Seriously, what was up with all the Ashleys, Ashleighs, Ashlees?”
Read more here.

  • Jaclyn (From Ben’s season and last summer’s Bachelor Pad):

Extract: ” Kacie: B*tch! Not only did she not tell me she was going back on the Bachelor, but she also wore the same dress as I did on the BachPad finale. Oh helllllllllllllllllllll no. In all seriousness, doing the Bachelor twice is close to impossible. I’m so proud of her for taking such a huge risk.”

Read more here.

And also:

  • From the man himself, Sean.

Catch you next week!

About sophienettejc

Sophie!
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